I’ll stop by before I blow off the dusty wick and let it burn to the bottom, it’ll hopefully all make sense soon enough

they say change is a good thing yet its almost always met with fierce resistance, panic, fear, and doubt. so I suppose I’d like to meet this “they” so I can have them to talk to the the rest of us and set things straight. 

there’s been a lot of change internally, externally, big, small, near and far in recent days/weeks etc and I can say that I’m finally welcoming all of it. that being said, some of the things changing of course petrifying while others are exciting. where will I be in 5 years? who knows, who fucking cares. tonight I declare thats a stupid question. 

a few years ago I was in australia, which at the time felt like a million miles from home. I was crippled by one of the darker times in my life that was getting a stranglehold on me and torturing me daily. all of this made living to minute to minute my only option and forced me to confront some very candid issues with myself(the result being a positive change in my life). but this isn’t really the point, what I want to focus on is that week, that one dark week where I would call my family hysterically at 5 in the morning because I couldn’t imagine what to do for another 30 minutes in such a state of disaster. it sounds bad because it was bad. no I wasn’t withdrawing from heroin or morning the loss of a sibling but I was dealing with autoimmune chemical & biological warfare for the first time in my life at such a horrific level. fuck, ANYWAY. listen, the point is. that was a dark week, just take my fucking word for it ok. the pieces all fell apart, time stood still, the future ceased to even exist as a potential and yet years later its simply a memory I look back on with a smirk. I’m glad I came back from it, glad it made it out, and now I just remember that everything will be ok no matter how it feels. so how did I climb out of what felt like surefire self armageddon and be in a place to laugh a out it? change.

lets get our hands dirty shall we. at that time I was very very lucky to have a close friend help me out at my most intimate moments of struggle. one night she put me on the phone with her “spiritual adviser” (yes I rolled my eyes too). now, this guy was a brilliant harvard graduate with 2 different degrees and a considered to be a expert in the fields of metaphysics, spirituality, quantum mechanics & religion[I checked him out, after the phone call].  So he gets on the phone, starts asking me whats wrong, bla bla and I break down. its all surreal, none of it really making much sense, I feel partially vulnerable & simultaneously am aware that the whole situation is just stupid and I’m on the phone with some snake oil salesman. that was until he says “Evan. please listen to me for a moment. you are not able to see what I see. right now, your guardian angels are healing you. they are re-wiring your being from the inside. you’re undergoing a spiritual re-wiring and its often scary, painful and sickening. but this is happening for a reason, and if you don’t fight it then it’s going to all be ok. you’re going to be ok.” I’d stopped crying, it didn’t completely make sense but I bought it for the moment and slept like I’ve never slept before. 

I don’t know what that meant, I know what it was supposed to mean, but I don’t know if it really meant that. It could all be a large bunch of bullshit, like the book sellers and the evangelist but the truth is I like the picture that was painted by that metaphor for change. fast forward until today. where many of my closest friends, family and our BLCers are asking me constantly if I’m ok and the answer is most certainly yes…. that being said, I most certainly also am being paid another visit from my friends and their re-wiring machines. last time I was scared. cautious, anxious but ready. this time I’m diving head first. 

the president of my label was fired yesterday. they call it resigning when you’re powerful because it doesn’t look as bad and you get a really nice cash prize for leaving without kicking and screaming. this was a small change. it sent news around the music business and inspired a “all hell breaks loose” kind of breakdown for some but the truth is that it changes almost nothing for me. I liked the old president. despite him being charged with having to run a company in a rapidly evaporating industry he was always reasonable with me.  I like the new president, I’ve worked with him on projects before and he’s a awesome guy… people will be fired, people will be hired but as far as I’m concerned its business as usual. the kind of change I’m talking about are more like the one deryck sivers talks about. the big ones. the hard ones. the ones that require honestly and as levy from the wire would say chutzpah with oneself. birthdays come and go, days changes, ages change, friends & jobs change, the weather changes, your weight and hair changes, presidents change, news changes, channels change. keys change, clothes change, I changed deodorant, technology changes, 2pac had a song called “changes” but have you changed your soul? your purpose? your being? are you fighting a re-wiring or are you in need of one? you already know the answer whether you admit it or not but just remember that even though its scary, you will laugh about it 5 years from now.  

so, what does this mean? I mean, this is the last paragraph where I’d normally tie it all together. drop in some news that I’d cryptically hinted at that had to do with change. I’d say something to you like “and so, I’ve changed my band name to this…” & “I’m making a all acoustic album that’s dark” or “I’m quitting” but this week, I don’t have those kinds of answers. I have only broad strokes. reflective or inspiring ones. its working on me. its happening slower than last time but the difference is I’m not fighting it. I welcome it. the “they” can stay home for my portion of the explanation, I get it now.  take a deep breath. take a second, just a second to yourself to breath as you did when you were a child. its so sad how clean we all were. 

everything you know is subject to change at a moments notice. 

-Evan

a lot of people keep asking where I get these bottlecap necklaces from… well. here you go :-)

[updated with working link] 

“Wake me up lower the fever

 Walking in a straight line

 Set me on fire in the evening

Everything will be fine

Waking up strong in the morning

Walking in a straight line

Lately I’m a desperate believer

But walking in a straight line”

fucking tumblr double spaced that shit just so you know. ugh. 

its just a quote from a Silverchair song I didn’t really like when I heard it but have since come around. something desperate on his vocal that I enjoy. I don’t even know what the fuck he’s talking about, I don’t even know what the fuck I’m talking about but I just like it right now. 

Someone on my forums just asked “are you ok?  no seriously…. are you ok?” 

the quick answer is yes. the long answer is still yes but its more like Yes*. then later, in the back of the text book there’s a footnote somewhere that says *though I’m actually ok the reasons I may appear to be currently undergoing rewiring is this: and then some long story into the deep dark personal intimate and exposing details of my life that I care not to share(not because you’re not my family but because its just boring to me and ultimately irrelevant cause I am fine anyway) So, that is why i’m ok and that is why you’re ok. we’re alive, we feel, we struggle, we have ups and downs, specifically we have horrific days and euphoric days(lets ignore the underlying psychological or chemical reasons for those and focus on the nintendo game we’ll call living) so I guess I dont think the answer should ever be no, for that would mean you have forgotten to understand all you have. 

hmmm, where weere[I’m intentionally leaving that misspelled just because I can] we. lets move on. “In another life” turned out amazing, “Better Off(with a broken heart)” is on its way to you via the form of another talented vessel and “goodbye letter” though black as oil & tar mixed with ash surprisingly got a thumbs up from the man so I’m moving onto new rocks this week. I’ve been doing this little song a day hustle lately and I love it. I wake up, I write a song, demo it, and finish it. thats it. no overthinking, no planning, no strategizing, just writing. write write write write write write write. I find and feel that the most strategic and organized army general can’t stop the lone crazed gunman with nothing to lose who walks through the tent and puts two shotgun rounds through his head so why not be the lone gunman? you’re not prisoner to anything. I mean, who can ever touch you? and if they do what exactly do you lose? 

I’m most certainly not advocating violence, it was a metaphor or analogy[not sure which so just whatever] i’ve never been in a fight in my life. when I was really younger I killed a rabbit with a bb gun once and couldn’t sleep for weeks. I still feel horrible about it so I’d say the whole violence thing best remain a figurative path and not literal for me. I’m just not cut out for it.  but the point was I feel a huge relief when I accept that nothing matters and just let go. I mean, maybe thats why apocalyptic movies always appeal to me, its like everything resets and the only thing that matters is staying alive (and killing zombies of course). 

so who died? well, thats a complex answer and a simple one. there are some specifics, some literals, but the one I’ll refer to  from here on in this writing is the alien robot pilot who previously held on so tightly, to what I’m not sure…. but I cut his hand off today so fuck him. 

and the she above? well. there’s no need for traditional counting and timing, that just seems counterproductive to everyone, I’d rather give more not less but also give good more than just eh. I’m sure it’ll make sense soon enough, I just don’t wanna map shit out y’know, being all handless and shit. 

let my just wrap this up real quick. I answered another question on the forums lately by drawing the best analogy I know for me in the immediate and foreseeable future. I’ve spent almost a decade in a gunfight, a bloody and horrific gunfight.  My little gang just finished our full on blaze of explosive offensive but our slides locked back and silence has befallen us so we’re hiding behind this car, its shot up like fuck, not moving, tires busted and stalled straight in the middle of this distraught and destroyed road. I’m almost 100% certain that nothing is gonna pass through the car and hurt us so we’re just catching our breath and filling up the ammo so we can all together flip back over the hood and end this once and for all. See, we may have missed but I’m the last guy you want still breathing and planning to come get you…… see for one, I don’t ever give up, NEVER. never ever ever. there is only one way I’ll ever stop and I think we all know thats not going to happen so give it your best because if you miss its gonna be ugly.

:-) Evan

The Wire is easily the greatest show on television. I know I’ve said it a thousand times before but I really mean it. Watching it for me is as close to a euphoric experience as I’ve been able to achieve on a consistent basis. 

Speaking of Baltimore, I’m heading back this week for a brief trip. The cause of the trip is unfortunately tragic however getting to spend time with my family will be a great silver lining. It was Rahm Emanuel who said “Never let a crisis go to waste” and without sounding insensitive I believe there is a large amount of truth to that. In fact, on a more general level anytime I get bad news I usually always reach with the same “ok. what can I do to make this good” response. sometime’s its harder than others and sometime’s it hurts more than others but usually if you approach things like that you’re generally going to be better off(in my humble opinion)

when I go back to Baltimore I feel a lot of things. Nostalgia, anxiety, regret, relief, I mean the whole slew of bullshit you feel when you return to your hometown. I’m infinitely excited that  I got out of the trap I’d felt in as a post high school struggling musician who just wanted to get signed. On the flip side there is a simple and real-ness to Baltimore (and the mid-atlantic green back country roads) that I don’t think exists elsewhere and at times I long for it. Few things in the world that I’ve seen(and though I’m not the most traveled I’m certainly doing ok for a 27yr old) rival two minutes on hillside drive. Whatever, you don’t care. I wouldn’t either, but hey I’m excited.

What if there isn’t a light? what if the lights just turn off and its nothingness? there are a million ways to find out and no ways to know. kinda sad. kinda special. I mean, they say the whole importance and meaning of life centers around the fact that it is temporary and fragile no matter what your spiritual or personal beliefs and ambitions happen to be. 

For me, I think that I’ve found little moments, they come now and then. you can’t predict them but something makes you genuinely happy, content, sincere. something makes you laugh, smile, cry, hurt, feel.

So. Snowballs, crabs, my old stomping grounds and a number of other pasts are in my future in the coming days and pending a safe aviation experience I plan on reporting them in full detail when we connect next week. 

In the meantime, chew on the fact that we’ve got the videos getting uploaded with our friends at Alloy to premier for ya’allz soon. 

I wrote like 5 songs this week (teamed up with my friends Luke Walker, Young L, and did the rest all by myself like a big boy). Oh and a little secret sauce coming your way soon enough. 

losing everything is easy if you have nothing. I don’t say that because I have nothing, rather the contrary but in watching a number of people in situations that stripped them down to their most human and basic core I was lucky to witness the difference between those who own their lives and those whose lives own them. It’s like that scene in fight club when Tyler says “the things you own end up owning you” besides the fact that with regards to material possessions he is 100% correct in his assertions, is the fact that the seriousness that you impose on your situation at any given time likely adds to the weight and ultimately deterioration of said situations manageableness & fulfilling qualities. 

I love the quote “how do you expect me to reason with a man who was no value for money” It just implies that there are two routes to enlightenment and both are equally challenging. The first is to become a billionaire. then you can do whatever you want whenever you want and make your own rules and say “fuck you” to everything and everyone(I like this one). The second is to find a true internal peace, one which will make the need to say “fuck you” moot because money, power, success, and any of the non-tangable useless measurements of standing in a society will have no use because your only measurement will be internal and pure. (this one I like but damn its fucking hard). Just saying like, i guess I spend half my life trying one and half my life trying the other. Maybe I won’t fully succeed at either until I commit and I’m ever conflicted. For to succeed at both is a feat that will prove satisfying but to fail at either well, depending on the pursuit I’d say some downfalls may have worse circumstances on your ability and predispositions with existing in our current medium of reality. and that as they say, is the rub. 

love,

Evan

I’d be lying if I said that I forgot to post last week’s ss blog. truth is, had a pretty big thing come up on the personal side of the coin so had to focus on putting that fire out and unfortunately by the time I sat down to write the blog(today) it was basically time for tomorrow’s blog…. I’m gonna be like a mad scientist and instead splice the two seeds or genomes together and see what happens when we make two soda sunday blogs into one. You never really know. maybe it’ll take on a life of its own and start murdering people while remaining immune to conventual weapons. [I have the secret weapon fyi, but I will charge a hefty price for you to use it]

I’m staring at a check, a fun check, makes me smile. next to it is a bill, a lame bill. nearly identical amounts and thus is life sometimes. but that not exactly true. that would be a pessimistic or cynical way to look at it. the truth is the check is 100% icing, as is almost every check I’ve ever gotten. they’re created playing music, is this some joke? nope. thats exactly what I’ve always thought but somehow I’m lucky enough to fuck around on instruments and then checks come. the bill is what it is, a cost of something I wanted. whether it be general like electricity(yes we choose to use it) or something specific like a iPad doesn’t really matter, what matters is you can’t get mad at the relatively fixed costs of life in a free society. 

I know I’ve already lost 95% of you by now, but this week we’re on a little philosophical journey through gumball machines and bank vaults.

I wrote a sick song called “seen a lot of things….(but my favorite sight is you)” that I’m not sure what I’m going to do with yet, played it for a few friends who loved it so it made my whole week a lot more awesome-tastic. The mashable story on the pumpkin pie video was pretty epic as well. what a way to end the week last week(which was notoriously harmful if swallowed).

i didn’t cry. I seldom do. I’m not sure why. something inside of me feels permanently switched off [I just had a 5 minute conversation with someone I hadn’t spoken to in 7 years trying to make sure permanently was a word and correctly spelled]. and thats definitely not a bad thing. its kinda like being a warrior or anyone who uses a level of mental training that rewires your initial human instincts. but anyway, had I not had the benefit of this re-wiring I may have succumb to my solemnness but nope! instead I got to chuckle, almost in a sick sadistic kind of way. I think I do that. if you’ve seen “Funny Games” or imagined “the office” meets “in the bedroom” you’d understand. 

at what point did the high school football star decide he’d own the biggest car dealership in your town? I mean, at some point in his life he either gave up the dream or was forced to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to be in the NFL. I know its cliche’ but its sad. We often see in movies and read in books about the sheer pure determination and pursuit that overcomes with seemingly impossible hurdles but what about the other guy? what about the runner up? why aren’t they heros? I’m not trying to say that I’d ever give up[i won’t, infact I’ll gladly die trying then live retreating] but what I’m asking is why isn’t that glamorized? 

I think in some cases it takes more courage to face the ugly realities ahead of you then to reject them under the guise of diligence. now, we’re walking a tight rope here. lazy motherfuckers and scumbags alike will likely justify their stagnation with embracing their reality, thats a bunch of bullshit. but you can’t reject your reality either by simply strongheadidly willing a fantasy to come to life. sometime’s you can most certainly create luck and miracles but until then you must at least take a moment to water the fucking lawn or it’ll die. but that doesn’t even matter, thats not what I’m saying to you really. what I’m trying to stress is that you really do have to define your own guidelines of failure. there is no doubt in my mind that somewhere out there a high school star quarterback is working a min wage job with 3 kids, a house he can’t afford and a broken car but he may be happier than the richest ceo of the biggest company in the world. Suge Knight was a NFL player before he founded Death Row records. I was going to be the nest best drummer at Berklee(in my giant ego’s estimation) but decided to pursue songwriting and being a singer. I have friends who chose easier realities than dreams and I have friends who followed dreams over reality the thing is, at some point, the must converge or you will forever be in limbo. why not make your reality the dream and make your dream the reality by co-existing them starting now? 

how? I don’t fucking know, thats your problem dude. I got my own pyramids and ruins to deal with so lets all get to it. I can tell you this, if you truly find a way to make it work you will be 100% untouchable by anything other than euphoria

love always!

Evan

It’s time for “Pumpkin Pie” video!!

I’ve been talking about it for a while now, and obviously been teasin at it for the last few weeks with pics and other hints but this week you’re getting it! Thursday (more details to come soon via my site and twitter) it’ll premier with our wonderful friends @ MTV.com & Buzzworthy! There’s even a bunch of cameo appearances to look out for in a way I don’t think has been done yet! For those of you in area’s not covered by MTV.com don’t worry, it’ll be live on my YouTube channel the day after the premier so fret not! 

It’s been fairly normal and also taxing week. Normal in a sense that nothing I didn’t expect to happen really happened. Taxing in that what I expected wasn’t always necessarily positive events and so watching them become realities proved at times a lot to think about. My good friend and longtime collaborator Kevin Kadish(Pumpkin Pie, Love/Hate, Better Than You, Cheater Of The Year, It’s Like That, Waiting & more) was in town working on writing and had a day off so we took a shot and something and came up with “Better Off(with a broken heart)” I think the song is damn good but it was more significant because it ended for me a frustrating streak of pushing through some walls I’d creatively in the last few months. 

“Kevorkian” was plain amazing. Inception was really good too but Kevorkian was just inspiring.  Also, I’ve started roasting coffee beans. They’re fucking epic. I was thinking about having a Coffee giveaway and then I realized you don’t care! ha. It’s cool. I love my starbucks too, just figured roasting is a better hobby than cooking meth or something.

Wow, that got really dark really fast. Speaking of Travis Meeks download the red album! 

Anyway…..

Someone just sent me a wonderful accidental facebook IM. made my entire evening. I’d say that, failblog, and wimp.coms random greatest hits sent to me by KimBigEvil herself keep me in a constant state of laughing.

wait…. I can’t stay on topic tonight. Let me get back to the video for a second. it’s like imperative that we make #PumpkinPieVideo a trending topic. I’m counting on us! You’ll understand why very soon but keep near my site for details on the time thurs or friday that we’re gonna all hit it at once!!!! maybe I’ll even hop on a impromtu Justin.Tv to help co-ordinate the efforts. Ah, and while we’re on the topic, today’s live broadcast was killer. Peep it. 

there are times when I type things like “peep it” “dope” “epic” that I feel like some poser fuckhead but I realize that I talk that way and am not faux conforming to try to keep up with the rest. I mean, I didn’t even use phat when it was phat to use it. maybe now I’ll use phat and then in like 5 years I can use crunk or whatever. It’s hard not to say “errrbody” like the rest of my suburban peers but I just feel like a soulless sellout when I do since I came from pikesville! Is that fucked? like. am I a dickhead for hating on that or am I just realistic? 

I just feel lost in a stream of constant thought today, but it feels really nice.

I love you all,

Evan

let’s go back in time… exactly one year ago to the day (7-11-09 for those of you non math inclined folk)….

my manager called and had a heart to heart with me. “Boy Meets Girl” was dead. In fact if we wanted to deal in terms of reality it had never actually lived for long in the first place(it was like a horse at preakness that injures its leg right as the gates open). We couldn’t sugarcoat it any longer if I wanted my record to get released and give it an actual shot so we’d have to make some tough decisions. The good thing was that I was shooting all day for “Private” (a show which was to share a similar fate to “Boy Meets Girl” ) so I was partially distracted by the optimistic illusion of ancillary opportunities to give W2BLC its big debut so I wasn’t crushed.  More importantly I could take all of my breaktime on set and ride down the street and get free slurpees so even all bad news was eclipsed by this great fortune. The conversation lasted a while, I remember almost the entire thing not to mention how hot it was that day out Castaic, even hotter sitting in my car(AC cranked too) and trying to make sure my fucking bluetooth didn’t cut out all while watching random extra’s arrive on the lot looking confused as we pondered my future. It doesn’t really matter what we talked about, what matters to you is that what we agree’d on and decided almost instantly and mutually was that it was time for “Pumpkin Pie” to step up. We had always believed in that song from day one and I was drawing a line with respect to my current artistic chapter and saying “here we go, do or die, lets put everything on this fucker and see what happens”…. and so we did…..and it took a year….

7-11-10  Today.

I didn’t even have a slurpee. Why? Well, I was busy streaming live <—Click as we all enjoy every sunday, but also I suppose I was exhausted from last night’s early morning session finishing “better off (with a broken heart)” More important though is the fact that today I just didn’t want the temporary euphoria in a cup. I mean, sometime’s I’m cynic even though I refuse to be depressed. Sometime’s i’m sour though I try my best not to be jaded. While listening to the radio en route with my brother Dr.ew we were joking about the song that was on and I said  ”yea, radio can be really weird now” and boom, almost on cue “Pumpkin Pie” comes on.  SiriusXM Hits 1 is the shit btw [CLICK ME and take 15 seconds please to request it!!!]. But I guess with respect to Welcome To The Blacklist Club I feel like we’ve entered the 4th quarter(I don’t like sports so how about the Third Act). That doesn’t mean anything conclusive or decisive. Infact it doesn’t really mean anything at all, its more of a perspective kind of thing more than a bullet point or chapter marker.

At times like this I realize I’m completing many of the thoughts in my head but that’s because just like laws and sausage I don’t think you really want to see how its made “how whats made?” you ask 

well, me I suppose. but I’m not getting made, I already am. I’m just saying I fear you’d be disgusted, or turned off if you saw too deep into my head. but isn’t that just life. Aren’t we all a little(or a lot) scared to be judged on the most candid level. What if someone could read your mind, see through your front, past the veils, past the actions, past anything and just right into your deepest core thoughts and ambitions. It’s kinda scary. 

I certainly know that anger is usually just a disguise for pain. Half the time I smile I’m likely scared and feeling pain, the other half I’m legitimately laughing. I mean, a little pain can actually be a happy feeling, a reminder of being human, a way to appreciate the ups when you’re having your downs, but I’m just saying no one wants a hand to reach down with scissors and cut your clothing off, tie your hands behind you and leave you intimately exposed to the world. It’s embarrassing no matter who you are.

 And so. I’ll make the first chess move, or I’ll peel off the outer wrapper and say that “Pumpkin Pie” is go big or go home for W2BLC. That doesn’t mean anything other than what it states. That doesn’t change the amazingly fantastic autumn that is looking like it could be game changing and ridiculously fun on many levels. It doesn’t change whats come before, or what will definitely come but it means that there is a tangible measurement of life for one of my children, and I’m ok with it. 

anytime anyone ever asks me “how are you” I’ve always replied “awesome! whats not to be awesome about?” 

Now I think I’ll just be honest, and luckily that means I’ll almost always still reply  ”awesome! whats not to be awesome about?”   but maybe on those rare days, those days where you’re wounded, or sprained, or fighting, I’ll reply “I’m alright” It’s true, but thats all it is. 

Don’t overread. dont feel sorry. don’t worry. It’s all big. its all good. its gonna be huge, I’m not worried(ok, fuck it, told you I’d be honest…. I’m really worried) but it doesn’t matter because I’m not stopping(and I don’t give a shit what happens) until its set in stone!!! You cannot lose if you don’t concede, you cannot fail until you’ve stopped, and I will never ever ever ever give up until I’ve got every single god damned fucking thing I dream of. 

Love you all,

Evan

its the 2nd birthday in a row for Soda Sunday’s! Last week I turned 27 and this week America(FUCK YEA) turns well… older. 

I mean, who didn’t have fun celebrating that with me during this weeks Justin.Tv (if you missed it click HERE [a lot of dancing, laughing, questions and giveaways too]

Anyway. Video is coming, slow and stead but its coming. The webisodes are lookin hot (so hot I gave a little sneak preview to those attending my BBQ last night) and I couldn’t be more stoked about it. (I apologize for using “hot” in that context) 

I took some photos with a good friend of mine a week or two and spent the day narrowing down to the ones he’ll now edit, photoshop, and fix so I look alright. Poor dude has MUCH work ahead of him, I mean, I just can’t rock my BlueSteal without a lot of airbrushing and such. 

FUCK i forgot!! I heard “Pumpkin Pie” in my car today. gotta love the friends @ Sirius Hits 1 for giving me a shot. Take a moment, wherever you are and call 1-877-MYHITS1 and tell em you want to hear Evan Taubenfeld’s Pumpkin Pie. You seriously will be a part in shaping the entire future of this song. It’s pretty amazing when I see just how fucking awesome you guys really are. [you can e-mail em too if you don’t want to call internationally] 

hmmmmm, what else I got. been writing like a madman but I keep stopping right before I get too into lyrics. It’s not that I’m uninspired at present, its just that I want this album to be the straight dope, the good shit. like, scratching off the scab and digging in with a pin until you hit bone. so I’m not gonna just phone it in….quality not quantity right? something like that. 

Drobo is the shit.

There are days when I feel like i missed my calling as like somethin real nerdy. I’m not sure what. I’m not smart enough to have been a brilliant software engineer, and not business savy enough to have been CEO of Oracle or something but I just love being such a geek. Actually, I think I’d have been a great host for “Unwrapped” on Food Network. Oh well. I happen to like my current job a lot. Infact using the word job is bullshit, I fuck around all day and somehow spend less then I make which equals awesomeness. 

anyway. lets just hope for all of our sake that Pumpkin Pie blows the fuck up on the radio, the album goes apeshit, and I get to spend the rest of the immediate future touring non-stop to see all of you. I have few doubts, even fewer worries so lets just wait it out and enjoy.

I bought this amazing book “common errors in the english language” that is pretty yummy. It’s amazing some of the things you’d never realize(not grammatical bullshit either). 

So, what do you think? Happy birthday America? We proud? We patriotic? I mean, when I personally think about what the holiday represents to me I actually feel honored to be part of a nation founded on not only courage but morals & principals that at the time of said founding were not only progressive but violently opposed but a much larger and more powerful force. These people knew what was right on a human level and decided they would take a shot(at the cost of life in many cases) for what they knew was better for their fellow man. It’s really actually quite inspirational and makes me think that anytime I’m acting scared of the little things in life I need to think about how lucky and spoiled I am, and that most of it is owed to those who came before me. 

That brings me to my second thing. no matter how much you hate wars, oppose use of force etc.(obviously anytime people are being hurt its not good) I think its important to say thank you to all of the service members who risk their lives every day so that I can live my comfortable free existence. Part of what free democracy entitles me is the ability to say “fuck the government” or ” x politician is a piece of crap and should be impeached” Even when you are adamantly opposed to certain policy making or acts of war you must take a moment to be objective to the fact that somewhere, someone your age is staring down the eye of horrific danger to preserve your current ability to be able to have such thoughts and voice them publicly and for that I really do feel indebted. 

DONUTS!!!!

seemed like a good seg way. 

I’m thinking about taking helicopter lessons. Went on an amazing tour of Los Angeles a few days ago, we even flew right over my house (i mean probably 200 yards away tops). Helicopters are awesome, and if I even sell my gabillion albums I’d definitely  buy one and try to make a little rooftop landing thing. I’ll steer clear of planes because Travolta is just a fucking weirdo man. I love Greece, Swordfish & Pulp Fiction but homey needs to relax with the whole dressing like a airline pilot. It’s weird. 

Jimmy Buffet is on CNN talking about his thoughts on the oil cleanup, I think I officially give up on mainstream news media. If you haven’t seen Idiocracy I’d definitely watch it asap, its pretty scary how that kinda shitty satire is going to be prophecy in the near future. I mean, that and demolition man. 

I’m off to watch “ouch my balls” [you’ll get the reference once you watch the movie]

Love,

Evan